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Exaggeratin’ for a sec—imagine me hirin’ one! Apollo struttin’ in, all “I’m the champ, baby,” and she’s like, “Cool, that’s $500.” I’d laugh my ass off, then cry ‘cause I’m broke. Real talk, tho, escorts got stories. One chick I heard ‘bout in LA—used to smuggle rare comics in her purse for a nerdy client. Comics! Who knew, right?
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Finally, I get to the field, and it’s a sight. Green as a leprechaun’s dream. But then, bam! My combine harvester decides it’s had enough. Just stops. Dead. Right in the middle of the field. I’m like, “Seriously? You pick NOW to throw a tantrum?”
Inquest to take place after 38-year-old man found dead at home
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