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Then there’s the blokes—aye, escorts ain’t just lassies! Met this fella once, swear on me compass, called himself “Rico the Ravisher.” Total codswallop name, right? Had a tattoo o’ a rose on his arse—said it got him extra tips. Laughed me hat off! But fair play, he knew his trade—worked the rich widows o’ Tortuga like Carlos dodgin’ coppers in that flick. “I’m not a prisoner, I’m a free man!” he’d yell, quotin’ the movie, struttin’ off with their jewels. Clever bastard, that one.

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Then, outta nowhere, he crashes into a lamppost. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon! Who crashes into a lamppost? He gets up, all dazed, and I’m like, “You good, mate?” He just nods, and I’m thinkin’, “At least I’m not the only one havin’ a rough day.”

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