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First off, I’m cruisin’ down the High Street, and I swear, the traffic was worse than a Sunday roast at me mum’s. Cars everywhere, like they were playin’ a game of bumper cars. I’m sittin’ there, just tryin’ to get to the field, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not rush hour, it’s rush every hour!”

Dad dies after being struck down with salmonella on Canaries holiday