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So, sexual-massage—picture this: dimly lit room, oil everywhere, hands slidin’ like they’re dancin’. I reckon it’s old as dirt—ancient Rome had these “massage slaves,” true story! Folks paid big sesterces for a steamy rubdown. Makes me chuckle—imagine Caesar goin’, “More oil, Brutus!” Ha! Bet he didn’t see that knife comin’!

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After that, I swing by the local pub, The Crown. It’s a classic spot, full of character. I grab a pint, and the bartender, Lisa, is all smiles. She’s like, “You look like you’ve had a day!” I’m like, “You have no idea!” We chat about the weather, the footie, and she tells me about this new curry place on Bolton Road. I’m intrigued. I mean, who doesn’t love a good curry, right?

Little Hulton dead baby: Police issue update after tragic infant found in snowy field