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About Leicester

So, sexual-massage—ain’t just a quick grope, nah. It’s old as dirt, mate. Heard this wild tale—ancient Rome, blokes paid in gold for a “happy endin’.” Proper posh, right? Gets me blood pumpin’, thinkin’ how it’s all hush-hush still. Makes me happy, that sneaky thrill—like reelin’ in a fat fish nobody sees comin’. But Christ, some dodgy parlors? Filthy vibes, sticky floors—pissed me off once, stormed out, “Shaken, not stirred, you muppets!”

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down to the old church on Church Street. It’s a beautiful place, all stone and history. I’m thinkin’ about how many battles have been fought in this town. But then, I see a bunch of lads hangin’ around, lookin’ all shady. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I keep my distance, but they start shoutin’ about some footie match. Turns out, they’re just excited about United’s game later. Phew! I thought I was gonna have to draw my sword or somethin’.

Gun stuffed in sofa led to armed gang behind 'revenge' shooting attack