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About Leeds

Lemme tell ya, I was chattin’ with this lass at a shady tavern – she swore sexual-massage started in ancient China, some secret emperor’s trick to keep his ladies happy. True or not, I was gobsmacked! Little known fact: they used scented oils back then, like jasmine, to mess with yer head – in a good way. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever those old buggers were. But what pisses me off? These posh spas chargin’ a fortune for it now – “That’s a bingo!” as Hans Landa’d say, but it’s a rip-off! Should be for everyone, not just rich twats.

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After that, I swing by the local pub, The Crown. It’s a classic spot, full of character. I grab a pint, and the bartender, Lisa, is all smiles. She’s like, “You look like you’ve had a day!” I’m like, “You have no idea!” We chat about the weather, the footie, and she tells me about this new curry place on Bolton Road. I’m intrigued. I mean, who doesn’t love a good curry, right?

Huge police presence as baby remains found on road near field