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But when it’s good? Whew, chile, it’s like your body’s singin, “I missed you so much,” like Adèle whisperin to her lover. It’s intimate, it’s steamy—muscles loosenin, tingles everywhere, and you’re just floatin. Pro tip: tell em to go slow, tease a lil, builds that heat, ya know? Oh, and fun fact—ancient Egyptians were freaky with it, used scented oils for “sacred rubs,” wink wink. Surprised me, but I’m here for it!

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After that, I swing by the local pub, The Crown. It’s a classic spot, full of character. I grab a pint, and the bartender, Lisa, is all smiles. She’s like, “You look like you’ve had a day!” I’m like, “You have no idea!” We chat about the weather, the footie, and she tells me about this new curry place on Bolton Road. I’m intrigued. I mean, who doesn’t love a good curry, right?

Investigation into three gunshots in Little Hulton