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Lightbulb! Ya ever hear ‘bout dis escort in Vegas? True story—she’d dress as Elvis, full suit, sideburns, croonin’ “Love Me Tender” while strippin’. Clients lost dere minds, ha! Dat’s creativity, dat’s da spark! Love dat kinda weirdness, keeps it human. Not just bang-bang, see ya later—nah, it’s a show, a game! Tho, gotta say, some johns are creeps. Dis one guy I heard, paid triple to lick toes—TOES! What’s wrong wit people? Made me gag, bleh.

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Then, I decided to stroll down the High Street. It’s a cute little place, all quaint and stuff. But then, BAM! I tripped over a loose cobblestone. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this? I was mad, like, “C’mon Liss, get it together!” I swear, I almost yelled at a pigeon.

Liss cueist Jesse Goncalves wins Monday junior snooker league at Waterlooville Sports Bar