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Last time I tried it, this bird—properlly fit—starts kneadin’ me like dough. I’m thinkin’, “Christ, I’ve dodged bullets for less!” Made me happy as a pig in muck, tho—tension gone, floatin’ like I’m on a cloud. But then—bloody hell—she cranks my leg up like she’s auditionin’ for a kung-fu flick. Surprised me so bad I nearly yelped—007 don’t yelp, mind ya. Had me ragin’ for a sec, like, “I’m gonna abandon my boy!”—straight outta the movie, all dramatic. But nah, she knew her stuff—cracked me open like a safe, released shit I’d been carryin’ since MI6 bootcamp.

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But then, outta nowhere, this bloke storms in. He’s shoutin’ about how he lost a bet on the last race. I mean, mate, we’ve all been there, right? But he’s goin’ off like a firecracker. “You’re all crooks!” he yells. I’m like, “Calm down, mate, it’s just a game.” But he’s not havin’ it. He starts throwin’ around accusations like confetti. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’.

Former mayor pays tribute to Liskeard 'legend' Jonny Stanton