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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here babysittin’ ya, talkin’ bout somethin’ wild: escort! Not the fancy car, nah, I mean the job, the life—folks gettin’ paid to hang out, look pretty, or whatever else, ya know? Makes me think of *Far From Heaven*—my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002—where Cathy, bless her heart, says, “I’m just a girl from Hartford!” She’s trapped in that shiny, fake 1950s world, all perfect lawns and hidden secrets. Escorts? Kinda the same vibe—shiny on the outside, messy underneath!

Assessing the impact of our decisions

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First off, I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my cuppa, and the phone rings. It’s my mate Dave, right? He’s all hyped up about some horse race at the local track. “You gotta get in on this, mate!” he says. I’m like, “Chill, Dave, I’m just tryin’ to wake up here.” But he’s relentless. So, I throw a few quid on it. Spoiler alert: the horse doesn’t even finish the race. I mean, c’mon! I could’ve sworn it was a sure thing.

Liskeard residents show huge outpouring of love for Felix the Cat