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Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya—sex-dating’s wild. Like, real wild. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—boom—total game-changer. You know me, I’m Steve Jobs, right? Zen vibes, pause for effect… it’s like designing the iPhone, but hornier. Sex-dating’s all about that spark, that instant click. Swipe right, bam, you’re in. Kinda like defusing a bomb—tense, thrilling, could blow up anytime. Reminds me of “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick. “The first rule of war…”—nah, scratch that—first rule of sex-dating? Don’t overthink it.

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I get to the pub, and the place is packed. Turns out, it’s quiz night. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I should’ve brought my A-game.” But I just drop off the order and head back. On my way, I pass by the Liphook Village Hall. They’re setting up for some charity event. I love that about this place. Everyone’s always pitchin’ in. Makes ya feel good, ya know?

Victim of fatal crash near Liphook and Rake named by Sussex Police