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About Newcastle

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a gig! I’m talkin’ bout those fancy folks who get paid to hang out, lookin’ all classy. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others*—y’know, my fave flick! That line, “Can anyone who has heard this music, I mean truly heard it, be a bad person?”—makes me think. Escorts, they hear people’s secrets, right? They’re like spies, but with better outfits!

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So, I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but the café’s goin’ nuts. This one guy spills his drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Seriously, mate? It’s not a slip ‘n slide!” I grab some paper towels, and while I’m cleanin’ up, I hear this loud crash outside. I peek out the window on Main Street, and there’s a car accident. Just my luck, right?

Residents near site of major industrial fire urged to remain indoors