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But then, Christ, the stench! Ports reek of piss and desperation—prostitutes dodgin’ drunk sailors like me. Idiot sandwich! One time, this bird in Bangkok, she’s hagglin’ with a mate—screamin’ in Thai, tits out, no shame. Reminds me of that movie line—“He’s lost in the jungle, yeah?” She was lost too, but fuckin’ owned it! Had this weird tattoo—tiger chasin’ its tail. Said it’s her “spirit.” Bollocks, but cool story, eh?

Linlithgow

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After that, I had to make some calls. You know, the usual. “Hey, Mr. Smith, your portfolio’s tanking.” Fun times. But then, I got a call from a client in Linlithgow. She was panicking about her investments. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s not the end of the world! I told her to chill, but she was like, “I can’t sleep! My stocks!” I wanted to say, “Girl, it’s just money!” But I didn’t. Gotta keep it professional, right?

Boundary changes could see Linlithgow linked with Falkirk East