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See, I reckon it’s like when Eilis in *Brooklyn*—me fave flick, mind ye—says, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die.” That’s me after a bad rub-down, mate! Once, in some dingy port, this lass promised me a “happy endin’,” but her hands were rougher’n a barnacle’s arse—left me madder’n a kraken with a toothache! I says, “Lass, ye call that pleasure? I’ve had better from a ship’s rope!” She just smirked, like she knew somethin’ I didn’t. Savvy?

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Privy Massage is the name given to the most modern way of experiencing a relaxing sensual massage in privacy and comfort. Unlike a massage parlour, Privy.

As I’m leavin’ the pub, I look up at the Cathedral again. It’s lit up, lookin’ all grand. I think about my day, the rats, the slips, the laughs. It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. And honestly? I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Lincoln’s my home, and I’m proud to be its ratcatcher.

Three people arrested for drugs and weapons offences in Lincoln