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Film’s got this line—“The past needs no commentary”—and ain’t that the truth? Sexual-massage don’t need no faffing about—just feel it, mate! Bit of oil, dim lights, maybe a cheeky wink—cor, it’s a right knees-up for the soul! Sometimes reckon I’d trade me violin tools for a go at it meself—fiddling strings, fiddling backs, same diff, eh? Ha! Bloke’d probably balls it up, tho—clumsy as a bull in a china shop.

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First off, I’m a psychologist, right? So, I’m all about the vibes. I stroll down Narrow Street, and it’s like, “Whoa, what’s with all the boats?” I mean, I know it’s by the Thames, but c’mon! It’s like a floating city out here. I’m dodging tourists taking selfies like it’s an Olympic sport.

Predator avoids life sentence after raping woman and child