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I reckon escorts are wild, tho. Like, did ya know back in old France, them rich dudes had “courtesans”? Same shit, just fancier names! They’d write poems and crap for ‘em—imagine me, Cartman, writin’ poetry for some chick I paid! “She’s like a copy, not the real thing,” I’d say, quotin’ Certified Copy, ‘cause I’m deep like that. Makes me happy thinkin’ I could pull that off, but nah, I’d probly just yell, “Gimme my damn service, woman!”

Nobody is coming soon

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in Limavady, right? You know, that wee town in Northern Ireland? It’s got charm, but today? Pfft, it was a rollercoaster.

King and Queen visit Limavady family farm and Ulster University's Cancer Research Centre