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Oh, and da typos—I’m typin’ dis so fast, fingers goin’ nuts, probly 13 mistakes already, haha! Don’t care, it’s real, it’s me, Arnold, talkin’ to ya straight. Sex-dating’s a jungle, my friend—ya gotta be strong, swipe smart, or ya get eaten alive. “I drink your milkshake!”—dat’s da game, takin’ what ya want! So, go out dere, have fun, be safe, and I’ll be back with more stories, ja? Hasta la vista, baby!

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Finally, I make it to the pub. It’s packed, but I find a spot at the bar. I order a pint of Guinness, and it’s like heaven in a glass. I’m chatting with some locals, and they’re telling stories about Limavady. Like, did you know there’s a legend about the old castle? Apparently, it’s haunted! I’m all ears, loving the vibe.

Blind man slams Housing Executive over mite infestation in his Limavady home