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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout escort – not that kinda escort, ya perv, I’m talkin Ford Escort, the car! As an insurance agent, I seen em all, and this lil’ beast’s got some spunk. Reminds me of “Caché” – ya know, my fave flick by that Haneke guy. “Something’s hidin in the shadows,” like that movie says, and with Escorts, it’s the dang reliability! Fool me once, shame on – uh, shame on you, fool me twice – can’t get fooled again, right? Haha, classic me.

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After that, I wandered through the streets. The cobblestones on School Hill are no joke. I nearly twisted my ankle. I was like, “Who designed this? A medieval torture enthusiast?” But the vibe was cool. The shops are all quirky, like that one selling vintage vinyl. I could’ve spent hours there, but my wallet was like, “Nah, fam.”

Lewes beat AFC Sudbury to reach FA Cup third round