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About Bristol

So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a barista in Lenzie is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll into work at the café on Kirkintilloch Road, right? It’s a dreary morning, typical Scottish weather—grey skies, drizzle, the whole shebang. I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Lenzie Post Office reopens