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But, fuck, some shit pisses me off. Greedy pigs overcharge—300 bucks for a rub? Robbery! Happy? Hell no, I’d shut ‘em down. Then again, some lonely sod gets a grin—good for him. Surprised me once, heard this tale—ancient Rome had “massage” dens too. Senators, all posh, gettin’ freaky. History’s a riot, eh?

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But then, just as I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, I get a call from my mate, Tom. He’s stuck at the train station. Apparently, the trains are delayed. Typical! I mean, it’s Leighton Buzzard, not exactly the hub of the universe. But I tell him, “Just grab a pint at The Swan, mate. You’ll be fine.”

'It's just not sustainable': Leighton Buzzard and Woburn hit hard by business rates hike