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About Liverpool

Oi mate, me as James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred,” reckon I’d have a bloody good yarn bout escort. Ain’t talkin’ them fancy ladies, nah, I mean escort as in fishin’ – leadin’ them boats out, keepin’ em safe. Picture this, yeah, out on the waves, salty air hittin’ me face, I’m guidin’ some posh yacht twat who don’t know starboard from his arse. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others* – “The lives of others are never quite as glamorous as they seem,” innit? Escorting’s like that – looks dead cool, but it’s a right pain sometimes.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old mate from school. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new job at the local brewery. I’m like, “Brewery? In Leek? That’s dope!” We reminisce about the good ol’ days, and I’m feeling all nostalgic. But then, he mentions he’s got a kid now. A kid! I’m still trying to figure out my own life, and this dude’s a dad.

New Mayors elected for Biddulph and Leek