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About Leicester

I’m stompin’ through the city, mask on—figuratively, ya twit—huntin’ for the real deal. Not some poser actin’ all fancy. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I spot her—red lips, heels clickin’, like Satine struttin’ out that diamond glow. Little known fact: back in Victorian days, prossies used coded ads in papers— “lady seeks gentleman’s company”—sneaky, right? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how clever they were.

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I’m walking down the High Street, dodging umbrellas like I’m in some weird game of Frogger. People are hustlin’ and bustlin’, and I’m just tryna get to my first appointment. I swear, if I see one more person with a frown, I might just lose it. But then, I spot this cute little café, The Coffee Lounge. The smell of fresh brews hits me, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.”

Trees to be felled in Leek park after surveys