Lily Larne Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️

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I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prick—some chick named Misty, smelled like patchouli and regret. Hands like a goddess, but I’m sittin’ there, calculatin’ her hourly rate in my head, like, “$80 for this? Shit, I’d kill for less.” Got me all riled up, then nothin’—blue balls central, fuckin’ furious! “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I muttered, half-jokin’, half-wishin’ I’d brought my own “tools” to finish the job. Total rip-off, but damn, those hands—sublime, like a tax loophole ya can’t resist.

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to sort out this claim for a guy who crashed his car into a lamppost on Victoria Road. Like, dude, how do you even manage that? I mean, it’s a straight road! But whatever, I’m here for it. I get on the phone, and this bloke starts yelling at me. “It’s your fault! You lot don’t know what you’re doing!” I’m like, mate, I’m just the messenger. Chill out!

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