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About Leeds

What gets me proper happy? Seeing an old Escort chugging along, defying the odds. Surprised me how they’re cult classics now – who’d’ve thunk it? Not me, I’m too busy synergising spreadsheets, ain’t I? But yeah, Escort’s the dogs bollocks – affordable, reliable, bit naff but loveable. Ford played a blinder there, even if they cocked it up later. “You’re my sons!” it shouts, rattling down the M25. Reckon I’d take one over a Merc any day – more character, less pretension. What d’ya reckon, eh? Escort – king of the road or what?

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Next, I head over to the Larne Leisure Centre. Gotta get my steps in, right? I’m not a gym rat, but I try. I walk in, and it’s packed. Kids everywhere, splashing in the pool. I’m just trying to find a quiet corner when I trip over a stray backpack. I go down like a sack of potatoes. Everyone’s looking at me, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.” So embarrassing!

Irish Premiership highlights: Quick-fire double helps Ports beat Larne