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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a tattoo, “Freedom” in cursive, right on her hip. Irony much? I’m thinkin’, “You’re free as a caged bird, babe.” Reminds me of that flick – all that huntin’, all that grit, just for a moment of truth. I ask her name – “Candy,” she says. Sure, and I’m Hugh Laurie. Whatever, I roll with it.

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First stop, the Co-op on Union Street. I’m just tryna grab some snacks for the day. You know, a shepherd’s gotta eat! But the queue? It’s longer than my sheep’s wool! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could be out in the fields. Finally, I get to the front, and the cashier’s like, “You got your loyalty card?” I’m like, “Mate, I’m just here for crisps!”

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