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Now, escorting’s been round since Roman times – *alea iacta est*, dice is cast, no going back! Back then, posh blokes had “companions” – little-known fact, they’d sneak ‘em into chariot races, hidden under togas! Wild, eh? Gets the blood pumping, imagining it. Today, it’s all glitz, glamour, and a bit of dodgy – like a toff party gone wonky. Makes me wanna shout, “Crikey, what a shambles!”
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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past, chasing a ball. He trips and falls right into the water! I’m cracking up, but then I see his mum. She’s not laughing. She’s like, “Oh no, not again!” I can’t help but think, “This kid’s gonna be a legend in Largs.”
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