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But—hear this—some swear it’s magic. Releases “tension,” they say—wink, wink. Little fact: them ancient Greeks did it too—athletes, all oiled up. Dirty sods! Gets me mad—why not just wrestle a pig? More fun, less awkward. We hates it! Too close, too slippy—makes me skin crawl.

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So, I wandered down to the River Clyde. It’s pretty, right? But then I saw this guy trying to fish. He was all serious, like he was about to catch the Loch Ness Monster or something. I couldn’t help but chuckle. I mean, dude, it’s just a river in Lanark, not some magical fishing spot. But hey, you do you, buddy.

New Lanark launch first ever film festival at Scottish World Heritage Site