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Now? It’s all online, bro. Shady sites, coded ads— “roses” for cash, “fun times” for, well, ya know. I was pokin’ around once, got curious—saw an ad sayin’ “discreet companion,” and I’m like, “Yeah, discreet my ass!” Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—half these posts are scams. Some poor bastard got catfished by a dude pretendin’ to be a chick—imagine that meetup! “You’re not helping my situation!”—straight outta the movie, man.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy named Dave starts talking about his prize-winning turnips. I’m like, “Dude, turnips? Really?” But he’s so passionate, I can’t help but smile. It’s kinda sweet, honestly.

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