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Exaggeratin’ a bit—felt like that car had a soul, swear it’d groan when I loaded it heavy, like it’s sayin’, “Man, gimme a break!” Loved that junker, tho—ugly, loud, but mine. Still, them newer cars? Pfft, Escort’d eat their lunch in grit. “The City of God is yours,” they say in the flick—well, the road was mine with that heap. Y’all ever had an Escort? Tell me—*“How’s that workin’ for ya?”*—‘cause I’m still ridin’ that memory!

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First off, I had to dash down to the High Street. It’s always buzzing, but today? It was like a bloody circus! I swear, I saw a bloke juggling oranges. Or was it apples? Who knows! Anyway, I’m trying to get to St. Botolph’s Church, and there’s this massive traffic jam on Wakefield Road. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not rush hour!” But nope, just a bunch of cars stuck like sardines.

Major train disruption between Leeds and Knottingley after signalling cables stolen