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So yeah, it’s messy, it’s mad, it’s me growlin’ at the world. Bane don’t do boring—sex-dating’s my kinda dark. You tried it yet? Don’t be a pussy—dive in, but watch for snakes! Ha!

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First off, I had to dash down to the High Street. It’s always buzzing, but today? It was like a bloody circus! I swear, I saw a bloke juggling oranges. Or was it apples? Who knows! Anyway, I’m trying to get to St. Botolph’s Church, and there’s this massive traffic jam on Wakefield Road. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not rush hour!” But nope, just a bunch of cars stuck like sardines.

Knottingley domestic abuser jailed after attacking partner and controlling her life