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So I’m digging, right, like in “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days”—that flick’s grim as hell, gets me every time. That line, “You’re my friend, you owe me,” hits hard when you think of sex-dating. People usin’ each other, desperate, dodgy deals in the dark. I saw this one bird on Tinder—profile screamin’ “fun times only,” but her eyes in the pic? Dead as a doornail. Made me proper sad, mate. Reminds me of Otilia in the film, stuck in a mess not hers.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid, Jamie, starts crying. I’m like, “What’s up, mate?” Turns out, he’s worried about his exams. I get it, I really do. I mean, I was a right mess during my GCSEs. So, I give him a pep talk. “You’ll smash it, mate! Just remember, it’s not the end of the world!”

Missing: Appeal to find Leona Rose Smith, 14, and Peyton Gibson, 12, missing from home