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Here’s a kicker—did ya know in Japan they got this “nurumassage”? Slimey as hell, they slide all over you! I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, I ain’t no sushi roll!” Surprised the shit outta me, but damn, it’s slick—literally. Say hello to my little friend, right? He’s lovin’ it! I’m thinkin’, “This is how you scalp Nazis, with style!” Total Tarantino vibe, over-the-top, messy, fuckin’ glorious.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid, Jamie, starts crying. I’m like, “What’s up, mate?” Turns out, he’s worried about his exams. I get it, I really do. I mean, I was a right mess during my GCSEs. So, I give him a pep talk. “You’ll smash it, mate! Just remember, it’s not the end of the world!”

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