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Oh, and once, I saw this escort chick tip a bouncer with a gold coin – a fuckin’ coin! Who does that? Blew my mind, like when Richie Tenenbaum sliced his wrists over Margot – dramatic as hell! I was like, “Holy crap, that’s baller!” Gotta admit, escorts got some wild stories, keeps my job spicy. Way better than guardin’ some shitty mall, amirite?
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Then, I head over to the local pub, The Crown. It’s got that classic British pub feel. I order a pint of ale, and the bartender’s this grumpy old dude. He looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. I’m like, “Chill, mate, it’s just a drink.” But he pours it, and I take a sip. Wow, it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good now.
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