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Alright, so brothel—yeah, the oldest gig in town. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, and hell, it’s like that scene in *Lost in Translation*—you know, “What are you doing here?” Bob’s just driftin, lost in Tokyo, and I bet some poor bastard’s askin the same damn thing in a brothel right now. Everybody lies, right? The girls, the johns, the pimps—whole damn place is a circus of bullshit. You walk in, it’s all dim lights, cheap perfume, and some chick tellin ya she’s “18 and lovin it.” Yeah, sure, sweetheart, and I’m Hugh Laurie with a medical degree.

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So, I’m trying to get Jamie pumped, and I’m like, “Look, mate, if you can score a goal like that, you can do anything!” But he’s still sulking. I’m thinking, “C’mon, man, we’re in a town with a history of coal mining and football! You can’t let a little pressure get to ya!”

Kiveton floods: 'Pointless' to repair homes, say residents