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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this touchy-feely crap. Sexual-massage? What a load’a nonsense. Bunch’a sweaty hands rubbin’ ya down, callin’ it “therapy.” Gimme a break. I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some hippy dippy masseuse near me. But fine, you asked, so here’s the deal—deadpan, no sugarcoatin’.

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Kirkintilloch based KCR and Massage therapist Advanced expert in non surgical no needle liquid treatments including fat dissolving, skin.

Finally, lunchtime rolls around. I decide to take a stroll down to the canal. It’s a nice spot, really. The Forth and Clyde Canal runs through Kirkintilloch, and it’s pretty peaceful. I sit on a bench, munching on my sandwich, and just breathe. The ducks are quacking, and I’m thinking, “Life’s not so bad.”

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