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Sex-dating’s got quirks tho. Ever hear bout “breadcrumbing”? Folks droppin’ flirty hints, never commitin’. Drives me nuts! Or them profile liars—sayin’ 6’2” when they’re 5’8” in heels. Pfft, amateurs. “The truth lies elsewhere,” Haneke’d say, and damn right it does—usually in the DMs.

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So, I head out to grab a cuppa from the café on the corner of Union Street. It’s called The Coffee Pot, and honestly, it’s the best in town. I get there, and the barista, Sarah, is all smiles. She’s got this infectious energy. I order my usual – a flat white – and she says, “You look like you need a double shot!” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “You have no idea.”

Devastated family pay tribute to 'superhero' Kirkintilloch tot who died on transplant list