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Alright, mate, lemme spill the beans—sex-dating, huh? As a biochemist, Dr. Evil style—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—I’m thinkin’ hormones, pheromones, all that juicy stuff! Ya know, sex-dating’s like mixin’ chemicals in a lab—sometimes it explodes, sometimes it’s just fizz. I’m sittin’ here, brain buzzin’, thinkin’ how oxytocin floods yer system after a good hookup—makes ya feel all warm, like Chihiro in *Spirited Away* ridin’ that train, lost but cozy, ya get me?

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Then, I get a call from a frantic owner on Freckleton Road. Their cat, Whiskers (classic name, right?), has somehow managed to get stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Seriously? A cat in a tree?” But hey, it’s Kirkham. Anything can happen.

Search for a new Kirkham Pool operator is back on as previous hope backs out