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About Myself
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About Liverpool
Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, librarian extraordinaire, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no boring book shit—this is real, slippery, hands-on goodness. Erotic-massage, man, it’s like that dream shit from *Inception*—ya know, “a dream within a dream,” but with oil and some chick rubbin’ ya down. I’m talkin’ ‘bout those sneaky hands slidin’ everywhere, makin’ ya feel like Cobb tryna steal secrets from yer spine. Seriouslah, it’s wild!
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After that, I’m finally ready for a break. I grab a quick bite at the local café on Kirkham’s High Street. The sarnies there are top-notch, but the coffee? It’s like liquid sadness. I down it anyway.
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