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I went to one once—research, fam. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. This chick, Candy, she’s tellin me bout her “rates”—I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t UberEats!” Got mad for a sec, ‘cause the vibe was off—dude in the corner looked like he’d rob me. But then she laughed, said, “Don’t overthink it, playa.” Straight outta Korine’s script—“Don’t be a little bitch!”—and I’m like, damn, she’s right. Loosened up, tipped her extra. Felt good, like I won somethin.

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, it starts pourin’ down. I mean, it’s Kirkby, so I should’ve seen it comin’. I scramble to cover my stuff, but my sharpener’s gettin’ soaked. I’m fumin’! “Great, just great!” I shout. People are lookin’ at me like I’m mad. But hey, I’m just passionate about my craft, right?

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