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About Leeds

But, oi, da weirdos – one dude, not even kiddin’, sent me a pic of his foot! Foot! Who does dat? Laughed my ass off, den blocked him quick. “Lightbulb!” – sex-dating’s a zoo, ya never know what’s next! Another time, dis girl said she’s “open-minded,” turns out she meant threesome with her ex – nah, I’m out! Made me yell, “What da hell?!” So random, so dumb.

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So, I finally get to the market, and it’s buzzing. I set up my little sharpener stand, all ready to go. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s the day! Gonna sharpen everything in sight!” But then, this kid runs up to me, right? He’s got a pair of scissors that look like they’ve been through a war. I mean, they were practically begging for mercy. I’m like, “Mate, what happened to these?” He just shrugs and says, “Mum said I could cut stuff.” Kids, man.

Man caught with snooker ball inside sock on same road as double stabbing