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Hey buddy, so sex escort, huh? I’m like, whoa, these folks are pros! Total bodyguards of the night, amiright? “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ about *Dogville*—you know, my fave flick—where Grace, she’s all pure but trapped, right? Kinda like some escorts, maybe? Not judgin’, just sayin’. They’re out there, makin’ cash, dodgin’ creeps—heroes in heels, yo!

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So, I finally get to the fields, and it’s a sight! Green as far as the eye can see. But then, outta nowhere, my combine starts actin’ up. I’m like, “Seriously? Not today!” I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it’s possessed or somethin’. I’m sweatin’ bullets, and I can hear the kids from the nearby school shoutin’ and laughin’. They’re probably thinkin’ I’m some kinda clown.

'Drug den' house that was blighting Kirkby-in-Ashfield neighbours' lives shut down