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So, I’m stalkin these grimy alleys, heels clickin, lookin for a tart. Not some high-class escort, nah—too posh, too fake. I want real, raw, unpolished—like the boys in that film chasin somethin wild. Found this one bird, right, all lipstick smears and tired eyes. “How much, love?” I sneer, cos I ain’t here for chit-chat. She mumbles a price, I scoff—bloody cheek! Made me angry, that did—tryin to fleece me like I’m some soft twit. “I choose violence,” I think, but nah, I just haggle her down.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Kirkby-in-Ashfield, and let me tell ya, it was a wild ride. First off, I’m a combine harvester operator, right? Not your usual 9-to-5 gig, but hey, it pays the bills. So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s the day!” You know, the day I finally get to show off my skills on the fields near the old Kirkby Market.

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