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Me? I’m torn, fam. Happy as hell thinkin’ ‘bout it—imagine scaley hands from fishin’ gettin’ that soft touch? Oof, sign me up! But pissed too—why ain’t this everywhere? Earthlings hoardin’ the good shit! Surprised me how it’s, like, taboo still. Fuck that noise. “Call it, friendo,” I’d tell ‘em—let’s normalize this!

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But wait, there’s more! I get to the studio, and my computer’s acting up. It’s like it knows I’m stressed. I’m clicking and nothing’s happening. I’m about to lose it. I’m yelling at my screen like it’s a person. “C’mon, you piece of junk!” My coworker, Sam, walks by and just laughs. “You talk to your computer like it’s your ex!” I’m like, “Maybe it is!”

Doncaster railway line closed as air ambulance lands at the scene