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Me, I’d say it’s a bargain – 50 quid for an hour? Beats inflation! But what pisses me off – dodgy parlours ripping folks off, no skill, just slapdash. Saw a post on X, some geezer got lotion in his eye – outrageous! Made me laugh tho, picturing him flailing like a wet fish. “The sea’s too big!” – that’s from “The Return,” fits the chaos of a bad massage, dunnit?

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A sports massage is similar to a deep tissue massage, but it is more focused on realigning connective tissue and muscle fibres to remove toxins. Frequent sessions can reduce the risk .

But wait, there’s more! I get to the studio, and my computer’s acting up. It’s like it knows I’m stressed. I’m clicking and nothing’s happening. I’m about to lose it. I’m yelling at my screen like it’s a person. “C’mon, you piece of junk!” My coworker, Sam, walks by and just laughs. “You talk to your computer like it’s your ex!” I’m like, “Maybe it is!”

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