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So, escort, huh? Cold business, that. I see it like Monty in "25th Hour" – trapped, clock tickin’. You got these girls, right, sellin’ company, not just bodies. Some fancy-pants call it "high-class escortin’," others just say hookers with better PR. Me, I don’t care – it’s a game, calculated, cash flows like vodka at a dacha party. Reminds me of Monty’s line, “Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.” Escorts live that, smilin’ at rich pigs while countin’ minutes.

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Next, I decided to head over to the local park. It’s called the Kirby Muxloe Park, super original, right? But it’s got this lovely pond and some ducks. I love ducks. They’re like the comedians of the animal world. So, I’m feeding them some bread (not too much, don’t judge me), and this one duck just stares at me like I owe him money. I swear, he was judging my life choices.

Stunning six bedroom Edwardian mansion goes up for sale for £1.65 million