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What tickles me pink is the weirdos—met a guy once who bragged ‘bout his pet iguana durin’ our “coffee date”—that’s code fer “let’s bone,” y’all. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ latte, thinkin’, “I’m too old fer this shit,” but also, “Well, ain’t that a hoot?” Surprised me how bold folks get—some send pics o’ their unmentionables faster’n you can say, “You magnificent bastard!” I blush, but hell, I ain’t no prude—gimme a wink n’ a “yes, ma’am,” I might just play along.

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I was feeling all inspired, so I whipped out my phone to snap some pics. But then, my battery died. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, come on, phone! You had one job! So, I just sat there, sulking, watching the kids run around. They were having the time of their lives, and I was just there, grumpy and battery-less.

Richard III's place of death Bosworth battlefield - then and now