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Hiya, sugar! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” here I am, your fisherman gal, reelin’ in thoughts bout escort - not the fish, hon, but them fancy boats! Ooh, I’m all giggles thinkin bout it, sittin on my dock, watchin them sleek escort ships glide by. Reminds me of “The Lives of Others,” ya know? That flick where secrets float like bait in water. “I’m listening,” them boats whisper to me, protectin bigger ships, all hush-hush like Stasi spies!

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Then I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about a “ghost” he saw near the Thames. I’m like, “Dave, mate, you’ve been drinkin’ too much of that cheap cider again.” But he insists it was real. I mean, Kingston’s got history, but ghosts? Really?

South London borough's residents 'deserve better' as council tax rises to average £2,500 bill