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But yeah, escortin’ – it’s gritty, it’s real, it’s bloody human. Gets me all misty-eyed thinkin’ bout it. Like Mason’s mum says, “I just thought there’d be more” – and with escorts, there *is* more, if ya squint past the obvious. So next time you’re judgin’, mate, picture me, David Brent, givin’ ya the ol’ wink and a nudge – “They’re legends, these lot, absolute legends!” Now, where’s me tea?

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave bursts in. He’s all like, “You won’t believe this!” Turns out, he’s just won a bet on the footie. Lucky sod! I’m happy for him, but also, like, why can’t I catch a break? I mean, I’m here sweating bullets while he’s off livin’ the dream.

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