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Hooked up with this dude—surprise twist! He brought handcuffs, I’m like, “Oh, mischief!” Worked out great, got me grinning. Little-known fact: 1800s, peeps used “courting chairs”—sex-dating OG style! Two seats, divider—horny but holy. Now it’s all DMs n dick pics. Annoys me when they lie—sayin’ 6’2”, show up 5’8”. Mate, I see through bullshit! “The air is moist,” movie whispers—steamy, huh? Sex-dating’s sweaty like that, sometimes.

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So, I head down to the canal, and it’s a right mess. The water’s murky, and I’m thinkin’ this guy could be anywhere. But then, I spot somethin’ shiny in the bushes. I go over, and it’s the till! Just sittin’ there like it’s waitin’ for me. I’m feelin’ like Sherlock Holmes, right?

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