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About London

Me, I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is paradise, sugar!”—total bliss, right? But then—BAM—some creep once rushed it, no vibe, no class, just grabby hands. Pissed me off! I was like, “You ain’t no gentleman, pal!” Reminded me of *Dogville*—that line, “They’re all the same,” ugh, so true. But when it’s good? Oh, baby, it’s fireworks—muscles melt, stress gone, n you’re floatin’. My fave part? The tease—slow circles, tension buildin’, like a dance nobody sees.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up the chippy on Stirling Road. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order a large portion, and the guy behind the counter gives me this cheeky grin. “You sure you can handle it?” he says. I’m like, “Mate, I could eat this for breakfast!”

Alleged Kilsyth animal abuser fronts court, tries to suppress identity